Spoon - Underdog
Loves loves loves it
Also, Imitrex and Dr. Hull may have just saved my semester.
10 months ago
23 April 2009
21 April 2009
Early Christmas Wish
I would like a brain transplant of only the right hemisphere, please. Out of the last 8 days, I have had a migraine or a major headache, six times. Chronic migraines are no fun and I have been so irritable and mean that I'm pretty sure no one else is enjoying it either.
16 April 2009
INFJ, what that looks like
If you've ever thought to yourself, "Man! I just don't get that Emily. What is going on in her head?!" Then don't fret, you're not alone. I, too, often ask myself the same questions and friends, I'm in my own head. It's confusing. So after a little test taking and research, I've found this nice summation in someone else's words that describes me pretty well. I've highlighted the parts in bold that particularly apply to me.
As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.
INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.
INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.
INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.
But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.
Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.
INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.
In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.
The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.
As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.
INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.
INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.
INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.
But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.
Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.
INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.
In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.
The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.
14 April 2009
A loanword from German: a strong desire for or impulse to wander, to travel and to explore the world.
Have you ever experienced wanderlust?
It's aggravating, is what it is. There's this desire dwelling deep within my soul to find someplace that I've only envisioned in my dreams. It's ennui, this boredom or complacency, that seeks to be remedied, sitting way down in my gut. It drives me to seek out adventure. It pushes me to go somewhere new.
When I was in high school I didn't understand what it was. But when the desire came I would get in my car and start driving West on 290. I would get to Hempstead, go to the fresh fruit and vegetable stand, buy something, turn around and go home. That was enough then.
My sophomore year of college the feeling was different. More intense. I had been working 35-40 hour weeks on top of going to school and I was going to break. I stopped school for a semester, packed up and moved to London. Just like that. That was enough then. I was satisfied.
Now I've got roots. I'm pretty happy. But I can feel the same thing building up way down in my spirit again. I'll probably start looking for little things that are exhilarating, something to quench it before it gets too big. Crawfish festival and live music this weekend. Maybe kayaking with the aunt and uncle or bible study group the next weekend. Last weekend I almost just took off North on 35. I can't remember what stopped me, but maybe next time I'll just roll with it.
Can you have roots and wings? Seems like one or the other has to give. Are my roots too deep this time? Or is the desire to go stronger? Strong enough to uproot me? I even like having roots. I just hope that they're flexible enough to stretch for a while.
Another question, is there something else that causes me to start feeling this way? Am I too relaxed in my pursuit of God? Is there something unsettled in my spirit that makes me grow so restless? Will I always have to deal with this feeling of wanderlust every few years? I'm not convinced it's a bad thing. It seems like I've moved every two or three years for the last 10 years. I expect the change. I welcome the change. I grow restless without it.
I expect I know something is going to change. I'm worried about life after school. I have no plan. No idea what kind of jobs to start looking at. The more that people ask me what I'm going to do, the more I realize I'm headed straight for a quarter-life crisis. Yes, I'm an English major, history minor. No, I don't want to teach. I don't want a typical job. Had one, it's not for me. What do I want? Only God knows... and I try to trust Him. I know he's got a plan. Am I scared because I have no inkling about what it is? Abso-freaking-lutely. Will He wait until the last minute before revealing it? Absolutely again. There's a chance I'll move back to Houston in December. I know that. I could be ok with it in the future. Right now all I can think about is how miserable that would be. Michi, I don't know how you do it.
But, can I leave Austin? I don't honestly know. It's really the first place I've claimed as my own, or rather: it's claimed me. I feel more at home here than in Houston. I just need a big adventure, a little adrenaline kick to subdue the greater need to move onward. I think I want to stay in Austin. But the big unknown world is calling my name. There are so many things I want to see. I can't imagine settling in to life and not ever seeing them. It's like the portion of my brain allotted to vision and visual memories is saving these framed empty portraits for things like: the Grand Canyon, the white coast of Greece, the Valley of the Kings, the Great Barrier Reef, Stonehenge, parts of the Roman wall in Scotland, Brazil, Lake Moraine, the Straits of Magellan, Victoria Falls, my first safari, a glacier in Alaska, penguins in California, the first time I wake up on a boat in the middle of the ocean and see nothing on the horizon, the French Riviera, Portugal, a humpback whale, Disney World with grown up eyes. You get the picture. There's a lot of blank spots in there waiting to be filled. I can't stay still and not see those things. I can't even imagine... I need to be a travel guide. How do I get my own show?
Good Lord, I'm a mess.
It's aggravating, is what it is. There's this desire dwelling deep within my soul to find someplace that I've only envisioned in my dreams. It's ennui, this boredom or complacency, that seeks to be remedied, sitting way down in my gut. It drives me to seek out adventure. It pushes me to go somewhere new.
When I was in high school I didn't understand what it was. But when the desire came I would get in my car and start driving West on 290. I would get to Hempstead, go to the fresh fruit and vegetable stand, buy something, turn around and go home. That was enough then.
My sophomore year of college the feeling was different. More intense. I had been working 35-40 hour weeks on top of going to school and I was going to break. I stopped school for a semester, packed up and moved to London. Just like that. That was enough then. I was satisfied.
Now I've got roots. I'm pretty happy. But I can feel the same thing building up way down in my spirit again. I'll probably start looking for little things that are exhilarating, something to quench it before it gets too big. Crawfish festival and live music this weekend. Maybe kayaking with the aunt and uncle or bible study group the next weekend. Last weekend I almost just took off North on 35. I can't remember what stopped me, but maybe next time I'll just roll with it.
Can you have roots and wings? Seems like one or the other has to give. Are my roots too deep this time? Or is the desire to go stronger? Strong enough to uproot me? I even like having roots. I just hope that they're flexible enough to stretch for a while.
Another question, is there something else that causes me to start feeling this way? Am I too relaxed in my pursuit of God? Is there something unsettled in my spirit that makes me grow so restless? Will I always have to deal with this feeling of wanderlust every few years? I'm not convinced it's a bad thing. It seems like I've moved every two or three years for the last 10 years. I expect the change. I welcome the change. I grow restless without it.
I expect I know something is going to change. I'm worried about life after school. I have no plan. No idea what kind of jobs to start looking at. The more that people ask me what I'm going to do, the more I realize I'm headed straight for a quarter-life crisis. Yes, I'm an English major, history minor. No, I don't want to teach. I don't want a typical job. Had one, it's not for me. What do I want? Only God knows... and I try to trust Him. I know he's got a plan. Am I scared because I have no inkling about what it is? Abso-freaking-lutely. Will He wait until the last minute before revealing it? Absolutely again. There's a chance I'll move back to Houston in December. I know that. I could be ok with it in the future. Right now all I can think about is how miserable that would be. Michi, I don't know how you do it.
But, can I leave Austin? I don't honestly know. It's really the first place I've claimed as my own, or rather: it's claimed me. I feel more at home here than in Houston. I just need a big adventure, a little adrenaline kick to subdue the greater need to move onward. I think I want to stay in Austin. But the big unknown world is calling my name. There are so many things I want to see. I can't imagine settling in to life and not ever seeing them. It's like the portion of my brain allotted to vision and visual memories is saving these framed empty portraits for things like: the Grand Canyon, the white coast of Greece, the Valley of the Kings, the Great Barrier Reef, Stonehenge, parts of the Roman wall in Scotland, Brazil, Lake Moraine, the Straits of Magellan, Victoria Falls, my first safari, a glacier in Alaska, penguins in California, the first time I wake up on a boat in the middle of the ocean and see nothing on the horizon, the French Riviera, Portugal, a humpback whale, Disney World with grown up eyes. You get the picture. There's a lot of blank spots in there waiting to be filled. I can't stay still and not see those things. I can't even imagine... I need to be a travel guide. How do I get my own show?
Good Lord, I'm a mess.
03 April 2009
April what?!
Is anyone else just blown away that it's April already? APRIL?!
I'm just amazed at how fast the time flies by. It always feels like I start a week and then BAM! it's over and Friday is happening again and the weekend is gone in a flash. It's a little frightening.
Can I just give a little shout out to my main man upstairs for this A-MAZing weather?! Hells bells people! It's April and it is stunning outside! I hope it holds up for any amount of time because I want to take full advantage of it. Tomorrow I'm going to the Veloway (which is a skating/bicycle trail in South Austin, just for skates and bikes) and I'm pretty excited. I need to find a way to fix my skates though. I'm also contemplating kayaking at some point this weekend, I need to see if my aunt and uncle would be up for that. AND, I have had the most overwhelming urge to fly a kite. I'm not even sure I remember how and I definitely don't own one, but if we have another good windy day anytime soon I'm going to high-tail it to the nearest REI or Target or some place and buy a kite.
I feel like cleaning the outside of my house, but I think I'm going to hold off and give yoga another shot first. Then lunch, home depot, maybe a little gardening.
By the way, I planted the front bed about a week ago after I dug out that cactus and the bush things that were growing. It will look pretty awesome if the SUN EVER SHINES ON THAT SIDE OF THE HOUSE. I think they get about 10 mins of sun in the evening. Kind of pitiful. I better go water while I'm thinking about it...
I'm just amazed at how fast the time flies by. It always feels like I start a week and then BAM! it's over and Friday is happening again and the weekend is gone in a flash. It's a little frightening.
Can I just give a little shout out to my main man upstairs for this A-MAZing weather?! Hells bells people! It's April and it is stunning outside! I hope it holds up for any amount of time because I want to take full advantage of it. Tomorrow I'm going to the Veloway (which is a skating/bicycle trail in South Austin, just for skates and bikes) and I'm pretty excited. I need to find a way to fix my skates though. I'm also contemplating kayaking at some point this weekend, I need to see if my aunt and uncle would be up for that. AND, I have had the most overwhelming urge to fly a kite. I'm not even sure I remember how and I definitely don't own one, but if we have another good windy day anytime soon I'm going to high-tail it to the nearest REI or Target or some place and buy a kite.
I feel like cleaning the outside of my house, but I think I'm going to hold off and give yoga another shot first. Then lunch, home depot, maybe a little gardening.
By the way, I planted the front bed about a week ago after I dug out that cactus and the bush things that were growing. It will look pretty awesome if the SUN EVER SHINES ON THAT SIDE OF THE HOUSE. I think they get about 10 mins of sun in the evening. Kind of pitiful. I better go water while I'm thinking about it...
26 March 2009
Flamingo Watching
Wherever the flamingo goes,
she brings a city’s worth
of furbelows. She seems
unnatural by nature—
too vivid and peculiar
a structure to be pretty,
and flexible to the point
of oddity. Perched on
those legs, anything she does
seems like an act. Descending
on her egg or draping her head
along her back, she’s
too exact and sinuous
to convince an audience
she’s serious. The natural elect,
they think, would be less pink,
less able to relax their necks,
less flamboyant in general.
They privately expect that it’s some
poorly jointed bland grey animal
with mitts for hands
whom God protects.
-Kay Ryan
25 March 2009
Little man, I've had a busy day!
My neighbor probably thinks that I don't do anything during the day besides go to class. I know she thinks my roommate doesn't even have a job and that she just sits at home all day. Or she did think that until she was corrected with the truth today.
Anyways, I've been busy today even though I'm not technically working. (It does annoy me when people assume I do nothing. Just because I take a nap to renew myself does not mean I am lazy.) Case in point, today I went to class. I skipped my Nutrition class at noon because lunch was making me feel weird. (Also Aunt Flo is ruining my life and I felt like lying down and there were no empty spots in the sleeping lounge in the Union.) So, I took the bus to my street and then hiked the quarter mile home, chatted with Roommate for a bit, did a bunch of yard work for the third-day in a row, unloaded the dish washer, re-loaded the dishwasher, wiped down the counters and stove, bleached the sink, cleaned the living room, manicure, pedicure, planned dinner, went to the grocery store and now I'm going to spend the next few hours before bible study reviewing for my French exam on Friday, reading a book about Stalin and cooking said planned dinner. Then, after bible study I think I am going to figure out which 20-line portion of one of Shakespeare's plays I'm going to analyze for my paper that is due on Monday. So! ...There. I may only go to class half a day but I do a lot of stuff with my free time.
AND! Not to embarrass him, but my friend just made this comment about Nathan Fillion in 'Dr Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog' and I thought it was hilarious.
subdub: I am jealous of Captain Hammer's butt. :P
I can remove that if you want, but since almost everyone who reads my blog doesn't know your real identity and I altered your screen name, I think it's safe. ;)
I have a list of questions from another friend's blog post that I'm going to attempt to answer next time I get a few minutes to sit down and think about it.
Also, we're thinking of painting our house. Color suggestions?
Also, also, we're thinking (Roommate and I) of starting a video blog. Name suggestions?
Anyways, I've been busy today even though I'm not technically working. (It does annoy me when people assume I do nothing. Just because I take a nap to renew myself does not mean I am lazy.) Case in point, today I went to class. I skipped my Nutrition class at noon because lunch was making me feel weird. (Also Aunt Flo is ruining my life and I felt like lying down and there were no empty spots in the sleeping lounge in the Union.) So, I took the bus to my street and then hiked the quarter mile home, chatted with Roommate for a bit, did a bunch of yard work for the third-day in a row, unloaded the dish washer, re-loaded the dishwasher, wiped down the counters and stove, bleached the sink, cleaned the living room, manicure, pedicure, planned dinner, went to the grocery store and now I'm going to spend the next few hours before bible study reviewing for my French exam on Friday, reading a book about Stalin and cooking said planned dinner. Then, after bible study I think I am going to figure out which 20-line portion of one of Shakespeare's plays I'm going to analyze for my paper that is due on Monday. So! ...There. I may only go to class half a day but I do a lot of stuff with my free time.
AND! Not to embarrass him, but my friend just made this comment about Nathan Fillion in 'Dr Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog' and I thought it was hilarious.
subdub: I am jealous of Captain Hammer's butt. :P
I can remove that if you want, but since almost everyone who reads my blog doesn't know your real identity and I altered your screen name, I think it's safe. ;)
I have a list of questions from another friend's blog post that I'm going to attempt to answer next time I get a few minutes to sit down and think about it.
Also, we're thinking of painting our house. Color suggestions?
Also, also, we're thinking (Roommate and I) of starting a video blog. Name suggestions?
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