Flamingo Watching

Wherever the flamingo goes,
she brings a city’s worth
of furbelows. She seems
unnatural by nature—
too vivid and peculiar
a structure to be pretty,
and flexible to the point
of oddity. Perched on
those legs, anything she does
seems like an act. Descending
on her egg or draping her head
along her back, she’s
too exact and sinuous
to convince an audience
she’s serious. The natural elect,
they think, would be less pink,
less able to relax their necks,
less flamboyant in general.
They privately expect that it’s some
poorly jointed bland grey animal
with mitts for hands
whom God protects.

-Kay Ryan

Little man, I've had a busy day!

My neighbor probably thinks that I don't do anything during the day besides go to class. I know she thinks my roommate doesn't even have a job and that she just sits at home all day. Or she did think that until she was corrected with the truth today.

Anyways, I've been busy today even though I'm not technically working. (It does annoy me when people assume I do nothing. Just because I take a nap to renew myself does not mean I am lazy.) Case in point, today I went to class. I skipped my Nutrition class at noon because lunch was making me feel weird. (Also Aunt Flo is ruining my life and I felt like lying down and there were no empty spots in the sleeping lounge in the Union.) So, I took the bus to my street and then hiked the quarter mile home, chatted with Roommate for a bit, did a bunch of yard work for the third-day in a row, unloaded the dish washer, re-loaded the dishwasher, wiped down the counters and stove, bleached the sink, cleaned the living room, manicure, pedicure, planned dinner, went to the grocery store and now I'm going to spend the next few hours before bible study reviewing for my French exam on Friday, reading a book about Stalin and cooking said planned dinner. Then, after bible study I think I am going to figure out which 20-line portion of one of Shakespeare's plays I'm going to analyze for my paper that is due on Monday. So! ...There. I may only go to class half a day but I do a lot of stuff with my free time.


AND! Not to embarrass him, but my friend just made this comment about Nathan Fillion in 'Dr Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog' and I thought it was hilarious.
subdub: I am jealous of Captain Hammer's butt. :P

I can remove that if you want, but since almost everyone who reads my blog doesn't know your real identity and I altered your screen name, I think it's safe. ;)


I have a list of questions from another friend's blog post that I'm going to attempt to answer next time I get a few minutes to sit down and think about it.

Also, we're thinking of painting our house. Color suggestions?
Also, also, we're thinking (Roommate and I) of starting a video blog. Name suggestions?

Watch & Love, people. Watch & Love.

Part One.


Part Two.


Part Three.

Elle est adorable

See more funny videos and Funny Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Detox

Let me preface what I'm about to say with: The last two/three days have been a ton of fun. The girls in my bible study and I have watched Lost, had half a bajillion really good conversations, walked 5.5 miles in one go, watched movies, and experienced what I think of as real fellowship: eating and living together and obeying (or trying to) God's word.

But!

I am not a people person. It wears me out to spend so much time constantly surrounded by people - Sunday through Tuesday night (12 am) with the same group of people in my house all. the. time. Love them a lot, but I need solitude. Time to regroup, renew, all that.

Blogland, I am really looking forward to spending a lot of quality time gardening in my parents' backyard over the next 2 or three days or however long I decide to stay in Houston. I'm also looking forward to some time with my family. We generally have a pretty smashing time together. But I fully plan on spending the next days outside pulling weeds while everyone else is at work.

And can I also just say that I have really enjoyed not being on the internet the last few days? I plan on continuing that trend. It does stink though, because I hate talking on the phone and email is so much easier to deal with. And if you're not checking emails people start calling you... =/ Life is so hard. (You know I'm kidding right?)... (But just about life being hard. I really do hate the phone.)

Mmmm

This morning I suddenly found myself in line at Starbucks. And while I was thinking, "Wait, I have class! I don't have time to stand here," my feet propelled me to the counter where the barista said, "What can I get for you?"

And I swear I tried to say "How long have I been standing in line and what am I doing here?" But instead it came out as: "I'll have an iced grande caramel macchiato" and my brain went "What?!" and my mouth said "Please."

It was in that moment that I knew:

"Hi. My name is Emily and I've just become addicted to caffeine."

It is well with my soul

I just had a moment. This exact time last year was a Tuesday/Wednesday. And this moment exactly 365 days ago I was lying in a hospital bed praying and pleading with God that if this was going to be the end of my life that he would just take me and not make it drag out any longer because I was done. The phrase I used was "I'm finished fighting." I remember beginning to cry and wishing that someone would wipe the tears off my face because my joints were arthritic and swollen and my body was toxic and I couldn't raise my arm to do it myself. I remember thinking, "God, truly your will be done because I don't know what else to do," and that was the last coherent thought I had for the next 3 days. It was a Tuesday. And the next twelve Tuesdays after were all some of the worst Tuesdays of my life.

But God showed me that He is faithful. And God showed me that His hand is not too short to deliver. And God showed me that his will is good. And it is pleasing. And it is perfect.

And I cried a lot. And I was angry for a little while. And I just plain did not understand.

But God showed me through my brokenness that His provision was perfect.

And even though I felt like the world was moving on while I was frozen {literally, with swollen shoulders and no range of motion; and the pain in my back so intense that I could not get out of bed by myself, wash my hair, face, hands, or eat by myself},

God showed me that His strength is perfected in weakness.

And His love is abounding. His timing? Flawless.



I have night-horrors every now and again where the memories of pain and frustration are so real that I wake up crying. Sometimes the fear is so strong that my mind recreates it and my back will begin to tremble with spasms. I fear it. In the last 365 days there is not a single one I can remember where I did not remember the last year.

But then I have a moment, and God just says, "Beloved, Who am I? Did I not carry you through that? Did I not fulfill my promises? Did I forsake you though you doubted me? It was My hand. It was My will. I am. I will always be."

And then I remember. And I can lay down the burden and the fear. I can walk by faith because it was He who taught me. Is it appropriate to raise an Ebenezer here? Let me declare, "Look what God has done. God and none other."

None other.

Oh

It makes no sense to cry over a little fish that I haven't even bonded with, but I just noticed that his little eye is infected and it breaks my heart. What the hell do you do for a fish with an infected eye???

I actually thought he had already died, but he's a trooper. Oh, the hell, where do you buy fish eye medicine? Seriously, I will pay money if it will fix his eye and he can live a little longer...

Poor Jean-Luc Poisson. This day just gets better.

Oh, what if his eye pops out??? I can't believe I just thought that.

"MariANNNNE!!"

Because I am AWESOME

Really, Blogland. There is no other word for the extraordinary talent I have for attracting hurts, illnesses, and general chaos.

I have had a crummy night of sleep. Why? You may ask yourself. Because my foot had a run-in with someone's knuckle (completely my fault and I have absolved him of any guilt). But said foot has not stopped hurting and when I got up to brush my teeth, I found that I can now put zero weight on it. Awesome, right?

I know.

Hopping is apparently not my thing, especially with all of the little steps in our house. There should be a cardio workout called "The Hop." Oh, I guess it's called jump rope. But I hopped/crawled to the freezer and borrowed a bag of Roommate's frozen spinach and am hoping that helps. We'll see. C'est la vie!

Today it has been one year since I was ill

I follow all the rules
Well, at least I'm trying
Hoping when my days are through
You'll be pleased

I've lived the longest days
Thinking my heart was so bad
Too scared to look in your face
Oh, if only I had

And is it alright
If I stay here all night
By the shoreline

I cannot believe you are angry or unjust
You've done nothing but have compassion on us
So be near me when I've given up
Be near me

I'm just like everyone else
We are all hiding
Acting like I have a wealth
Of knowledge and peace

But all I've ever wanted
And what men have given their lives for
Is a God who understands my weaknesses
A God that I can love

And is it alright
If I stay here all night
By the shoreline

I cannot believe you are angry or unjust
You've done nothing but have compassion on us
So be near me when I've given up
Be near me

I believe you are good and righteous
You've given me your reckless love
So be near, be near...

Be Near Me Bethany Dillon

Lusting

I have been driving myself crazy wishing I had this car. I mean, look at it! It's a sexy vehicle. And I never say "sexy." But this is. I just keep wishing one would show up in my driveway. I know the chances of that are impossible to the 6th degree because not only am I not working, I'm sitting on some pretty nice student loans. But my A/C no longer works in my current SUV, and hells bells people! It's hot outside now! Hotter than the devil's drawers as my Grandma Cook would say. The heat is just making me wish for something new because I don't want to drop $800 to fix the A/C that I have already invested a pretty penny in twice before. And I know that $800 is a lot less than purchasing a new car. I know that, but it doesn't help. I'm not a very rational person. I'll get over it, as soon as I actually get on over to the Toyota website and check out the price tag, which I'm not going to do because a woman should be allowed to dream of whatever she wants. And weirdly enough I dream of a ridiculously good looking SUV.