A Book You Shouldn't Read

Birdsong by Sebastian Faulkes is a book you shouldn't read unless you're wanting to cry. I have yet to cry, but I can tell it is only pages away. It's truly a really good book, but it is so overwhelmingly sad that I could crawl into my bed and weep for the characters.

It bounces back and forth between France 1916-18 and England 1978. The trench warfare is expounded on in detail. I think part of my problem is that I watched my first episode of Band of Brothers over the holiday weekend and the images of the fighting and wounds are fresh in my mind. The main character of 1916-18 is Stephen and the other is his grand-daughter living in England in 78 who knows little to nothing about him but is determined to understand more.

Anyway...I don't know what to do with myself. Thank you, British Novel in the 20th Century class and Dr. Berry for tossing me and 2/3 of my classmates into a pit of sadness. You are truly depressing.

On a lighter note, I had my graduation pictures done today. Life is speeding past at lightning speed and I am trying to keep up. So much reading and work to do over the next two weeks or so. And then there's the job searching that must be done. It's a truly funky place I'm sitting in right now. =/

That's Church

I went to service today for the first time in a few months. I do really enjoy working in the children's ministry even though I complain about it pretty often. There's just something about 12 four-year-old children that really wears a person out.

I was talking with my roommate last night about how I've felt disconnected from the body of the church because I typically go to my preschool class and then to my Sunday school class. Starving is the word I used. Outside of my quiet times, I'm getting no nourishment. And I literally feel like I'm starving.

So being able to go to service today was really rewarding.

Can you sense that there is a "however" coming? And a relatively big however at that. I really enjoyed going to service today, however I feel like there was something important left out of the sermon. The clarification that was needed to help people remember that our God is a good God. He is the definition of good. My feeling is that the sermon made him out to be a mean old miser. The context of the sermon is this: David wanted to build a palace for God. God spoke to the prophet Nathan in a dream and told him that David was not to be the one to fulfill that dream because he had killed too many people. It was still a good thing to desire and dream of, but he wasn't made for that. God took away David's dream essentially. David responded well; he became content with his situation and He held on to God's sovereignty and His intentions though David got nothing out of the promise.

I had two conversations afterward with people who took away the meaning to be that whatever their dreams are, even if they are with godly intentions, that's not what's meant for them and God won't fulfill that dream. That God will take away that dream. I disagree.

I wish there had been more on the fact that some of our deepest desires and dreams are from God and that he very much wants to fulfill them. I refer to the dreams that are born out of godly desires and not our sinful nature. We often don't pray about those things because we're afraid they will be taken away. But that's not necessarily true! If we are living our lives in such a way that we are seeking God's will above our own and searching for His will in our lives, He very often places desires within us and then fulfills them when we lay them at His feet and trust Him for those things. Our God is a good God. We serve a mighty King; vengeance is His, yes, and there will be justice for those who do not know Him, but I am His child. I stand redeemed because of the sacrifice of Christ's blood, and I claim an inheritance from the Lord God Almighty. And He disciplines me, of course, because I really need it. But He loves me. And He wants to answer the desires of my heart. I trust Him with those very precious dreams of mine; the ones I hardly admit to myself because I'm afraid that they will get crushed. God's word tells us to "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4. I feel it's true that if we are delighting ourselves in the Lord He also becomes the desire of our hearts.

Is it not undermining God and who He is by believing that He will take away our dreams just because we have them? Can we not instead hold them up to Him and believe, in faith and obedience, that His will shall be done and that He might just answer them?

Bah, this is one of those topics that I feel like I'm not communicating well on at all. There is an immense amount of things I want to say on this but it's hard to touch on everything and decide where to begin. I need to listen to it again and see if I walk away with the same perceptions. Suffice it to say for now: I wish the sermon had offered more on God; who He is and what He's like, instead of confusing people as to what He will do. God will not crush your desires just because you have those dreams. It may very well be that He wants to answer them beyond your wildest imagination but you possess such little faith that you will never see God answer them. Believe little, see little.

Believe BIG. Then keep your eyes open.

Nobody Panic!

I think it was just allergies. And I think that because my whole face is itching today and I've been sneezing. A lot.

Still winning:
Pink Eye: 0
Cavities: 0
Strep Throat: 0

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Eve! I love holidays. Fall and winter holidays. There's a great deal of nostalgia there because I have had some of the best holidays ever lived by anyone and I doubt I will ever hate the holidays. Unless something tragic happened. But I just get so giddy during this time of year! I feel like Buddy the Elf, that's how giddy/silly I get. But I love it. "And I'm singing...and I love it I love it I love it!"

Michaela, I would watch Elf with you this week. It is not too early to enjoy that goodness.

Aww, shoot!

You know what would be bad timing?

Having pink eye 5 days before I am due to have graduation photos taken.

I'm praying this is some other eye irritation, but after working with those kids this week (half of whom couldn't stop coughing, sniffling, etc) who knows.

I also heard from someone on campus that pink eye is the number one thing health services is worrying with. Awe-some.

Couldn't be worse timing, thank you very much. Welp, we'll see how things are in the morning. I'm off to make a warm compress and use some eye drops. Hoo-ray.

Divine Find of Oh-Nine

Let's take a minute and review all of the wonderful things we've discovered in the year 2009...


Ok, great. You have yours?



Here's mine:


That is love. Plain and simple. Love in the form of a chocolate bar. Some genius took a chocolate bar and married it to a peanut butter cup and the brilliance that came out of it is this. Isn't it beautiful?


Also, I just talked back to an old man in the grocery store. Not even sassy-like. Just mean. But he was a liar.

I hate liars. Not the liars themselves per se, just their lies.

Maybe I dislike them a little too while the lie is still fresh in my mind.

Story: Roommate went to Randall's earlier to get some things for lunch. I asked her to get me the little bar of love aforementioned [clue #1] and some chicken salad [Randall's is stepping up their game! So many good deli-style foods there now]. Anyway, she accidentally forgot the chicken salad. No big deal. On my way home from Manor this afternoon [where I was short with Brookes, clue #2], I decided to swing by Randall's and get a little thing of chicken salad for lunch tomorrow. I was on the phone in the store, no big deal, and remained on the phone until I got in line.

When I had been standing in line for a few seconds, this man [not old, probably mid-late 60s] came up to me and said "Excuse me, I was standing in that line."
To which I didn't say anything. But he was most definitely not standing in that line. He was in the line next to me. Then he stands between the two lines waiting to see which one is moving faster. He ends up picking my line and pushing in in-front of me. Needless to say, I was getting irritated.

But THEN! Low and behold, the other line moves faster. As soon as he sensed me move a hair's breadth of a fraction of a 1/1000 of a millimeter in that direction, he shot over to the other line and looked back at me absolutely horrified that I would "cut" in front of him in line.

[Insert WTF? face and exasperated sigh.]

The second time he looked at me, I said: "So, are you staying in that line or are you going to jump back in front of me because I'm about to step forward and set my stuff down?" [clue #3] Well, I said everything before the "or."

Bah. I was so frustrated with him. And his little British accent too.

And then I got in my car, added up the clues, and realized what was going on. It does explain why I've been so stinking exhausted lately!

Also, I think I'm going to put my Christmas lights up in the next few days. I was going to be good and wait until after Thanksgiving, but there are already two or three houses on our street that have lights up. Call me that-tacky-neighbor-who-lives-down-the-street-with-their-Christmas-lights-already-up, but I don't really care. It's my favorite time of the year! All of the leaves are turning all of my favorite colors and I'm just so inexplicably happy! [with the exception of the incident in the grocery store. And Brookes.]

I re-designed my blog [again] today. I went for the simple, self-designed look and abandoned all of the downloadable templates I've used in the past. I just can't find what I want. There are some cool ones out there, but I have this idea and I can't find it anywhere. So this will have to do for now.

Happy Autumn!

L-O-V-E

You know what I love?

Wednesdays.

But Thursdays have always been my favorite days. Recently I found out I was born on a Thursday. It makes sense, I suppose, considering how much I love Thursdays.

So I love Wednesday because it's Thursday Eve.

Speaking of eve's! Can we just sit in the disbelief for a minute that Thanksgiving is maybe 2 weeks away?? Christmas is just. around. the corner!

Part of me is in shock. I just...wasn't it just February?

And part of me is ecstatic! I love Christmas music and movies and decorations, oh my! I can't wait to watch all the old Hollywood Christmas classics.

My mom and I always make our Christmas-time tamales while listening to the "Merry Christmas, Baby" CD. It's a tradition we started at least 5 years ago. We've been perfecting our recipe ever since and those tamales just get better and better. I live off of Christmas tamales for at least a week, sometimes two: usually lunch and dinner, sometimes breakfast if I'm feeling like it.

So here's to Wednesdays (Thursday Eve) and Christmas being just around the corner.



And to my pawpaw, CG Burnham, on this Veteran's Day.

Stellan

Occassionally I start blog hopping and find myself on complete strangers' blogs with no idea how I got there. Sometime earlier this year I happened across www.mycharmingkids.net (still not sure how). But I read for a while and really came to respect MckMama, as she calls herself, in that little bit of time. She probably has more than several thousand readers everyday (one news site she had a link to said over 100,000). At any rate, big time blogger; part of their family's income is provided from it. I say "that's awesome": she gets to stay at home with her kids during the day, and makes money on the side doing something she enjoys, photography and blogging.

Anyways. Today I saw someone's status on facebook that said "Pray for Stellan." I don't think I've looked at her blog since that first week I was reading it, but I remembered her youngest child's name, Stellan, and the things they were struggling with at the time. Stellan was diagnosed with SVT in utero. I don't understand all of it, but it's a complicated heart issue that should have gone away before he was born. It didn't. And he's spent the first year of his life in and out of hospital. So upon seeing the status update, I looked up her blog and saw the news. Stellan was back in the hospital, worse than ever before. In theory, the surgeons wanted to wait until he was 4 before doing surgery because it's complicated and so risky with a little heart. They weren't even supposed to go into surgery today because he needed to be off his heart medicine for at least two days prior.

However, Stellan's SVT was out of control. He flatlined in his hospital bed this morning. There was a 20% chance they would have a successful surgery today (successful being that he wouldn't need a pace-maker and be dependent on it for the rest of his life).

I'm just telling you, as the tears roll, that God answers prayers in a big way. It was a completely successful surgery, and so far there's no sign of the SVT starting up again.

I don't know why God heals some and not others. My roommate was in Houston for her cousin's funeral today. Sometimes I wish I understood...

He's done a miracle today, made possible what few thought would happen for years. Stellan is SVT free. And MckMama, bless her heart, is giving him the praise and glory, for all 100,000+ or - who read her blog. If you're interested in keeping up with their story/Stellan's progress, I'm adding a link in the blog list to the right.

And pray for Josh's family. He's a little boy in my Lambs Sunday school class. I don't know the details, but another parent stopped me at church yesterday and said that it was a SERIOUS-serious medical condition. Your prayers are coveted, friends.

100th Post!

I've recently become addicted to the website mylifeisaverage.com. I've noticed a common thread with a lot of the things people are posting. So many seem to be extremly nostalgic for their childhood or fascinated by the things that remind them of simple fun, no tvs or video games involved. And I have to admit, I've caught myself recently wishing for the imaginative fun in life. Building a fort out of quilts and chairs and pillows is on my list of things to do before 2009 is over. I feel fairly silly wishing for, let alone saying such a thing. But I think those people are on to something. I miss the imaginative fun things in life. It's the kind of fun I often don't have because I'm too busy acting like a grown up.

It rained most of the day here today. I watched 'Penelope' this afternoon (one of the discount movies I bought at Blockboster earlier last week). The song at the end of the movie is one of my favorites: Hoppipolla by Sigur Ros. I *think* they're an Icelandic band. At any rate, the translation of hoppipolla is "hopping in puddles". Do you know where I'm going with this? ;)

I have not giggled so hard in years!

A few tips when jumping in puddles:
1. Don't worry with your rain boots. They don't keep the water from falling back into your boots on it's way back to earth. Your socks will be soaked anyways.
2. Keep your mouth closed,
3. Close your eyes.
4. The higher you jump, the bigger your splash.
5. Watch out for traffic and ignore your snotty neighbors.

Penelope is such a good movie. I had been looking for an uplifting movie in the last couple of weeks. The last few I've seen have either been heart-wrenching or slightly horrible. Penelope is heart-warming and fantastic. I'm thinking about watching it again.

Hah, so much for a month's worth of posts!

As it turns out, there is such a thing as "prayer hair" and "sleep face." Things I wasn't aware of until I was told I had them.

The Blockbuster in my neighborhood is going out of business. All of their movies are on sale for $8.99. Their box sets (think TV shows) are only $17.99. I should have bought LOST or one of the other shows I was looking at, but I didn't. Instead I bought Penelope, Casino Royale (only $5.99), and Elizabethtown (also $5.99). I thought it was a pretty good deal myself!

Lately I've been wanting to read a good book and watch a good movie. And I mean something light-hearted, or just up-lifting. The books I've had to read for class lately have been completely insane. Literally, all about socio-paths and their crazy ways. Made for some strange dreams, let me tell you. The last few movies we've rented too haven't been too great. They were either cheesy or stupid or a little bit dark.

And as it turns out, I think I talk in my sleep every night for most of the night. Roommate has said that anytime she wakes up in the middle of the night there's more than a 50% chance I'm talking in my sleep. I've been concerned about the things I'll say because my dreams have been really peculiar!

Did you know?

It's National Blog Posting Month.

Which means...well, nothing, unless you give it meaning. Which I will do.

You're about to get a month full of posts from me. Not at all once, of course. I wouldn't do that to you. I know you're all already stocked up on crazy and not interested in me selling you some more. But crazy is as crazy does and I does crazy well. (That was not a grammatical typo) ;)

First things first. I had my first run in with chiggers. Nearly drove me to insanity one night. But instead, I attempted to break my toe on the bathroom door around 4 in the morning one night. I wish bruises photographed better. This one was a doozy. My toe is currently in the end stages of bruising; a nice brown color.









And then there was Halloween! Lots of fun. I wish we had spent more time coming up with costume ideas and working on the costumes we decided on. But it was still fun, not as funny as last year. But it's hard to get perfection two years in a row. We were Hannah Montana (Marianne) and Miley Cyrus (me). As it turns out, people actually don't like them. It's funny because I thought America was obsessed, but the feeling seems to lean towards the opposite actually. Go figure.










Hannah Montana and Miley tried to teach people how to do the Hoedown Throwdown. Not as easy as it looks. We had actually rented the movie the night before when we were in Houston and tried to learn the dance. Super funny trying to learn it. My mom helped, but mostly she just laughed at us. Actually, that trip home was a really good one. I love my parents. I love that other people love my parents and suggest that we visit them more regularly - like every other weekend. I concur. I would be willing to take people down to Cypress with me every other weekend. People need to experience the love and joy that is Casa de Burnham. Or Maison de Burnham, if you prefer the French comme moi ;)
I mentioned the Galveston Service Trip we'll be going on with a few people from my Sunday school class in a few weeks. My mom jumped on my idea of stopping for dinner either Friday or Sunday. I hope people are down for it. My mom is already thinking about menu ideas. At the very least, my car will be stopping. So...choose your car wisely friends.