Sparkling Leaves

EDIT/UPDATE:
You can buy Priscilla Ahn's album on iTunes for $7.99. I just did. Also, Pete Yorn's new album is out as of yesterday. I previewed some of the songs and then bought a few that sound especially appetizing to my little ears.
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I love this song. For more reasons than I could possibly put into words. Priscilla Ahn's voice is just perfect to me. I wish I could sing, but I really wish I could sing like her. All of her songs are wonderful, in my humble opinion; this one, "Dream," is my favorite right now though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKfDwChOoHI

Here's a video someone created for the song:


It's just one of those songs that makes me long for something. I'm not sure what exactly, but I think it's something like never wanting to lose that child-like sense of wonder. I feel nostalgic. I want to remember what I dreamed about when I was a little girl. (Truth be told it was probably about playing pro-soccer or being an artist or traveling the world). All of which I would still like to do, though I definitely lack the talent that I once thought I had.

Not to go all deep and brooding, but I've been struggling to find passion again since I've been sick (over a year ago now! Still feels like last month). Sometimes I think I've just been emotionally shut down to things. I've seen things and heard things that I know should move me or impress some degree of awe or wonder in me, but I don't feel anything. I'm scared to pray for God to re-open those gates or to show me something awe-inspiring - I don't know if I could handle it. Unless it was something spectacularly simple that just blew my mind wide open. I'm scared that He'll show me something huge-

That's stupid. Can I not trust Him to show me exactly what I need? Does He not know me, my needs, my tolerable upper limits? I don't think I'm emotionally dead (as my roommate jokes, she calls me a robot; e.g. the other day I cried about something and she suggested that perhaps I was developing a soul - not funny, by the way. I just feel wired differently since I was ill). I've thought about painting something recently, but I don't have the first clue what to paint. I was really getting into water colors before everything happened. Maybe one day this summer I'll try again. I'll put a date to it:

One day between this weekend and the next, I, Emily Kaitlin Burnham, will put brush to paper. Consider that electronically signed.

And if I fail to comply and show evidence, anyone who quotes this to me has my authorization to collect $20 by any means necessary. However, if you punch or harm me in any way, I reserve the right to return the favor and deny you the $20 and in return charge you a fee based upon my discretion.

Just kidding! You may not collect $20, but I will keep my word.